Mary sighs. “No, honey. It’s called being kind.”

Tank’s father, a red-faced man named Coach Riggs (from the opposing team), storms onto the field. “You teach your kids to throw at batters, Cooper?”

Mary reminds everyone: “Today is the first Little League game of the season, and George is coaching. No excuses.”

George Sr., already exhausted, walks in with a mitt. “You’re coming. End of discussion.” At church, Sheldon is assigned to Mrs. Ingleby, a sweet but overly cheerful elderly docent tasked with showing him the church’s historical artifacts. Sheldon immediately corrects her pronunciation of “Maccabees.” Mrs. Ingleby laughs it off, but Sheldon follows her around with a clipboard, grading her performance: “Docent Score: 3 out of 10. Lacks theological depth. Relies too heavily on anecdotal warmth.”

George: “It’s better than yelling.”

Sheldon: “Baseball is a mathematically elegant sport ruined by human error, specifically the umpires.”

Riggs gets in George’s face. The umpire does nothing. The crowd of Texas parents starts cheering for a fight.