Every family has that one eccentric relative. Ours was Uncle Jerry, but the kids called him .
We laughed. But when my shoelace broke before the wedding, guess who reached into his pocket and handed me a neatly coiled length of reinforced toe? Uncle Pantyhose. The man was a legend in cheap hosiery. Would you like a different tone—darker, funnier, or more poetic? uncle pantyhose
From then on, Uncle Pantyhose kept a spare pair in his glove compartment, right next to the duct tape and a half-eaten bag of beef jerky. He’d patch radiator hoses, splint bird wings, and once even made a sling for the neighbor’s dog. At Thanksgiving, he’d pass the mashed potatoes and say, “Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it—pantyhose saved my life on I-95.” Every family has that one eccentric relative