X 1995: Tarzan

(1 point for the unintentional comedy, 0.5 for the chimp’s professionalism)

However, as a spectacle of failure ? It’s a masterpiece. Tarzan X is the cinematic equivalent of finding a moldy, half-eaten sandwich in a rented VHS case – it’s gross, confusing, and you can’t look away. Rocco Siffredi’s Tarzan may not conquer the jungle or your heart, but he will forever swing awkwardly through the low-rent canopy of bad movie history. tarzan x 1995

Let’s address the elephant – or rather, the erect gorilla – in the room. Tarzan X is essentially a 95-minute vehicle for softcore sex scenes padded with jungle footage. The erotic sequences, which are plentiful, are shot with the same flat lighting and static camera work as the dialogue scenes. There is little passion; instead, there is a clinical, almost mechanical quality to them. Siffredi, known for his intense performances in adult cinema, seems oddly subdued here, going through the motions as if waiting for a paycheck. The female leads, while conventionally attractive, are given nothing to work with besides breathy sighs and strategically placed foliage. (1 point for the unintentional comedy, 0

In the mid-1990s, the erotic thriller boom was in full swing, spurred on by the mainstream success of Basic Instinct and the explosion of late-night cable programming. It was a time when producers would grab any public domain character and thrust them (often literally) into a softcore scenario. Enter Tarzan X , a film that attempts to answer the question no one asked: What if Edgar Rice Burroughs’ Lord of the Apes was reimagined as a hunky, leather-clad, amnesiac action hero with a penchant for steamy jungle trysts? Rocco Siffredi’s Tarzan may not conquer the jungle

Directed by the prolific B-movie auteur Joe D’Amato (under the pseudonym "John B. Root"), Tarzan X is a bizarre, often tedious, yet strangely fascinating time capsule. It’s important to set expectations immediately: this is not a film for fans of Burroughs’ novels, Disney animation, or even competent filmmaking. This is a film for connoisseurs of the so-bad-it’s-compelling, the lurid, and the unintentionally hilarious.