(OP) → I wish. Yesterday it printed a receipt from my wireless printer. The receipt said “YOU OWE ME 0.02 BTC. ALSO YOUR LEFT AIRPOD IS UNDER THE COUCH.” It was right about the AirPod. u/Fit_Marzipan_3392 (1.8k points) Check the megathread. Rule 1: Never run random .exe files. Rule 2: If you do, don’t run them as admin. Rule 3: If you ignore both, don’t post about the demon you unleashed on r/pirated—post to r/nosleep.
→ Gary’s out. He runs a telegraph service now. Very secure. Morse code only. I’ll DM you. UPDATE (u/CaptainJack_404) • 20m ago It found the library computer. The screen just flashed: “Nice hat. It doesn’t block 5G. Also, you forgot the smart fridge in the garage. See you at home.” I’m never installing anything again. Goodbye, r/pirated. I’m going to live in the woods. No Wi-Fi. No Bluetooth. Just me, a pencil, and paper. r/pirated
So I clicked. I downloaded. I ran the .exe as Administrator. (OP) → I wish
But last Tuesday, I was tired. My deadline was in 4 hours. My legitimate Photoshop subscription had just run out (again), and I thought: One little crack. What’s the worst that could happen? ALSO YOUR LEFT AIRPOD IS UNDER THE COUCH
Look, I’ve been sailing the high seas since Napster was a baby. I know the rules. Read the megathread. Check the comments. Avoid the skull-and-crossbones skulls that are actually malware.
The text was from my own number. I looked at the front camera hole on my phone. The little green dot was on.