My $2,000 gaming and coding companion was dead. No lights, no hum, no whirring fans. Just the ghost of a coffee stain on the desk beside it.
The form was a test of will. Describe the issue. "Liquid damage. Will not power on." Was the damage caused by misuse, neglect, or an act of God? I paused. Was celebrating an act of God? I selected "Accidental Damage."
Three days later, a reply. "Thank you for the video. Please perform a 'Hard Reset' (hold power button for 40 seconds). If the issue persists, please remove the bottom panel and send a photograph of the motherboard, focusing on the area around the keyboard connector." I don't own a guitar pick or a spudger. I used a credit card and a butter knife. The plastic clips screamed as they snapped. I took a blurry photo of a green board speckled with tiny silver cities. I sent it.
A monument not to protection. But to the single, most expensive drop of coffee I will ever know.
The journey began on the ASUS website. It was a labyrinth of dropdown menus and indecipherable model numbers. My Serial Number (SN): A6N0CV123456789. I typed it in like a sacred incantation.