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The Omni-Cheek quivers. Cries a single, confused tear of mushroom juice. Then deflates with a soft pfffft .
“Time to hunt some buns.”
“Rule one, rookie,” Max grunts, oiling his pneumatic cheek-separator. “Never trust a silent fart. That’s a spore-bomb waiting to go off. Rule two? The bigger the bun, the bigger the bounty.” butt-bun hunter rpg
Your mentor, an old, scarred hunter named , hands you your first tool: the Squeeze-Scanner MK-II , a device that looks like a golden caliper with a screen that displays cheek density, fungal growth, and “jiggle volatility.” The Omni-Cheek quivers
You equip your cheek-separator and grin. “Time to hunt some buns
Credits roll over a chiptune remix of “Baby Got Back.” Post-credits scene: SYSTEMA reboots as a sentient toilet plunger, now working as your sidekick. It asks, “Same time tomorrow, hunter?”